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"Busy" - Elf M. Sternberg
elfs
elfs
"Busy"
It's curious that one of the people responding to my previous post laid some of the blame for men's poor sexual performance and general lack of pursuit of sexual pleasure on all of us being just a little too busy.

I'm not. I'm never "busy."

I will often say "I'm busy that day," because that's the phrase we've agreed to use, instead of what's really going on. And what's really going on, worded truthfully, would sound brutal and tragic: "I'm sorry, but compared to getting a little downtown / watching Game of Thrones / playing Call of Duty / drinking alone, you're just not a priority."

And that's what I do, on paper, in my calendar, when people ask me for my time. I look back through my calendar and tally up the amount of time I've had with people recently, and the experiences I want and the pleasures I seek and the education I crave and the downtime I need, and I prioritize. Explicitly. I rank encounters and schedules with an eye toward gratitude and pleasure, accomplishment and camaraderie, and then I decide where I'll go each night, what I'll do, and whom I'll do it with.

Maybe I'm not getting as much writing and coding done as I used to, but I'm having a lot more fun.

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Comments
acelightning From: acelightning Date: April 23rd, 2014 03:40 am (UTC) (Link)
Yes, there's a difference between the social lie ("I'm sorry - I'd love to go with you to watch that movie with subtitles in Cambodian, but I have to wax my eohippus that night," which everyone knows really means "I don't want to go out with you, but I don't want to hurt your feelings by saying it so baldly."), and the phenomenon of "I have to arrive before the boss does, stay until after she leaves, and never, ever, be seen aaway my desk, or they'll fire me for sure!" I admire you for not falling prey to the second one, and for handling the first gracefully.
howlin_wolf_66 From: howlin_wolf_66 Date: April 23rd, 2014 04:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
What is the reason for life, if you can't tailor it to suit your needs? :-)
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