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The Bisexuality Miranda Statement - Elf M. Sternberg
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The Bisexuality Miranda Statement
So National Coming Out Day and Bisexuality Visibility Day both passed by without my chiming in much of anything. I don't know why. My own sexual proclivities are so out there on the Internet that I don't even understand why someone is talking about some poor civilian's opinion of porn films from 2004, but apparently we are. C'mon, it's not like he groped someone.

Yes, I'm bisexual.

Part of my reluctance is because of something I've started to call the Bisexuality Miranda Warning, because everyone who writes "I'm bisexual" always follows up with some variant of this:
A bisexual isn't confused, in denial, or changing from one sexual orientation into another. A bisexual does not need to be with someone of each sex regularly in order to be happy. A bisexual is not greedy or oversexed.
I cringe every time I read that because, dammit, I am greedy. I like sex. And from my college years onward, I more or less made it clear that I wasn't going to be constrained by anything more than the consent of others and a common decency for the health and well-being of all involved.

And yet, the Bisexual Miranda Warning's ubiquity makes me feel like I'm a bit of a criminal. That i'm not like you bisexuals who have put your names out there into the press. Because I'm not just pro-sex, I like it, and with a lot of other different people. It's one of my favorite hobbies, and I want to share it with other hobbyists.

I don't think I ever "came out"; I just was. I started at the height of the AIDS crisis, and I've managed to get this far disease-free by being a bit paranoid, being a bit loud, and being a lot straightforward about what I want.

This push to emphasize "bisexuals can be monogamous" has felt suspiciously like those who claim that what gays really wanted all along was the wedding, the house, the two-point-four children and the dog, trying to push those gays that don't embrace the married lifestyle into a closet. "Hush, you. For the sake of The Cause, you have the responsibility to stay silent."

No, I don't.

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Comments
polydad From: polydad Date: October 17th, 2016 04:28 pm (UTC) (Link)
Silence doesn't seem to be one of your strong suits.
omahas From: omahas Date: October 17th, 2016 05:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
Being pro-sex, loving sex, and wanting to share it with other "hobbyists" doesn't make you oversexed, hypersexed, or greedy. Those categories tend to forget about other people's needs or desires, and only focus on their own.

But our Christianized society looks at anything that you desire and entitle it as "greed" since all followers of Christ are supposed to be humble and never think of their own needs or wants.

You are simply responding to the latter, rather than the former. And so are many bisexuals who feel that they must include that "Miranda" statement.
sirfox From: sirfox Date: October 19th, 2016 01:14 am (UTC) (Link)
the miranda warning is for bisexuality itself.

That there are inevitably human complications/differences/divergences in every individual (hey, humans are messy) case is just as crucial to full understanding of Bisexuality and The... Can we call it the Carmen Miranda statement? It's as crucial as knowing that there is an implied "Too" at the end of "Black Lives Matter"
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