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The Masturband! Masturs of their domain! - Elf M. Sternberg
The Masturband! Masturs of their domain!
Rolling Stone has an article about the hot new thing, teenage celibacy, in their most recent web edition. It's a sad article in many ways but while I was reading it something caught my attention. The masturband.

You know all of those wrist bands that people are wearing now, the new ribbons? The masturband is one of those: a doubled-up band of black that announces to the world, "I don't wank."

If you happen to fail and have a wank, you're supposed to take it off for a while, and when you do none of your friends want to shake your hand. Masturs of their domain, indeed. It's incredibly sad, reading the article, about how much these kids are set up for failure. Sex is always a threesome for these kids: man, woman, and God.

Current Mood: amused amused
Current Music: Peter Gabriel, Talk To Me

12 comments or Leave a comment
jenkitty From: jenkitty Date: June 24th, 2005 06:14 pm (UTC) (Link)
"Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love."
--Woody Allen
(Deleted comment)
pixel39 From: pixel39 Date: June 24th, 2005 06:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
*reads article* Oh. My. Word. If this (the celibacy movement) had been around when I was in HS/college, my mother would have been all over it. Gah.

That is sad. Very, very sad.
From: technoshaman Date: June 24th, 2005 06:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hey, it's OK if you involve Deity in your sex life.... just make sure She's *helping*...

But then, you probably already knew that.
elgatocurioso From: elgatocurioso Date: June 24th, 2005 07:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
I could see amassing other people's black-bands becoming a game in my high school. These types of things only become challenges to some people!
kenshardik From: kenshardik Date: June 24th, 2005 09:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
These people are seriously, SERIOUSLY fucked up.
(Deleted comment)
talisker From: talisker Date: June 25th, 2005 11:23 am (UTC) (Link)
Sex is always a threesome for these kids: man, woman, and God.

I recently watched a documentary called Teenage Texas Virgins. It was all about that. Kids waiting until they were married before having sex. While laudable as a goal, it just means that kids will be getting married at 18 and divorced at 20. Also, your local pastor is not the best source of marital aid information :S
From: (Anonymous) Date: July 6th, 2005 11:41 pm (UTC) (Link)


I find it unfortunate that you and so many others are unable to see the truth. Society has lied to you and you can not even see the damage these things are causing. Please think about your actions and the consequences they will cause before you act.
From: (Anonymous) Date: July 11th, 2005 06:06 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Unfortunate

Hmmm... Pregnancy scares and STD transmission? Or peace of mind and focus on longer-lasting pleasures than sex? Tough choice? NOT! Wait 'til you're married and guys don't deal with clingy girls (you know you only wanted the sex) and girls don't get all caught up in "love" when it's really "lust." Makes perfect sense to me!
From: (Anonymous) Date: July 11th, 2005 08:37 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Unfortunate

I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that liberty and the pursuit of happiness were "unfortunate."
From: (Anonymous) Date: May 8th, 2006 06:34 am (UTC) (Link)
I dunno. Masturbating isn't exactly noble, friends. I've been dealing with it a lot. It just clouds your perception of reality. What christian kids are doing is amazing in my opinion. In fact, I'm starting to find Jesus. May be life has some meaning afterall.
12 comments or Leave a comment