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[Writing] For Amythis and others, I give you new stories! - Elf M. Sternberg
elfs
elfs
[Writing] For Amythis and others, I give you new stories!
I promised many months ago that I would finish these and put them up, and so, after much consideration, tweaking, tuning, and adjusting of continuity, I have:

Current Mood: amused amused
Current Music: Rammstein, Punish Me

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Comments
mundens From: mundens Date: February 2nd, 2008 11:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
I enjoyed those, quite brightened up my morning. Hmm, Maybe I should take that a sign to read good erotica every Sunday morning before breakfast? ^__^

hydrolagus From: hydrolagus Date: February 3rd, 2008 02:13 am (UTC) (Link)
A couple of typos in Nymphs in November,
just before Chapter 6--"a ripe, vile smile erupted as fluids splashed from the shattered ceramic."
beginning of Chapter 6--"certainly, she had newer made love to another woman before."

I think I'll have to make time to roam through some of your other writings. I read "A Night on Thunderra" back in the alt.sex.bondage days, though.
elfs From: elfs Date: February 3rd, 2008 03:35 am (UTC) (Link)
Fixed! Thank you.
From: (Anonymous) Date: February 3rd, 2008 04:05 am (UTC) (Link)
Dear Elf, I've tripped across typos previously in some of the Journal Entries... Until this comment, it hadn't occurred to me to offer - would you be interested in having them listed?

CthaWorld
elfs From: elfs Date: February 3rd, 2008 04:11 am (UTC) (Link)
I do appreciate them and try not to ignore them. They go into the bugbag and get fixed when I have the time and lack the inspiration to write anything new.
amythis From: amythis Date: February 3rd, 2008 04:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
I just read the first story, and I LOL at how you caught the style and characterization. I did see some typos, like "women" for "woman," but I didn't keep track. Thank you for sharing this, and I'll read the later adventures when I get a chance.
amythis From: amythis Date: February 4th, 2008 03:04 pm (UTC) (Link)
"Sodomy" typos:

Noun missing in "And then was still."

"...as Henri's mouth slip up the length..." Should be either "slid" or "slipped."

I didn't enjoy this adventure as much as the "Rome" one, but then I didn't expect to. (And, yes, I've seen Marat/Sade, and didn't enjoy it except for some of the music.) I hope Jack has some sex he can truly enjoy soon.
elfs From: elfs Date: February 4th, 2008 04:59 pm (UTC) (Link)
It's not supposed to be a nice one, yeah. They weren't, always. Don't worry; the story ends on a high note, and I managed to pull off everything I wanted without being mean. I think that's a key point when doing fanfic; you have to love the characters in the original, or you can't do it justice.
amythis From: amythis Date: February 5th, 2008 03:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
I think that's a key point when doing fanfic; you have to love the characters in the original, or you can't do it justice.

Well, obviously I agree with that. :-)

Not surprisingly, the third story is more my cup of tea, although I'm amused that poor Jack still gets the worst of the adventure.



"Nymph" typos:

if she kept her eyes opened.... It seems like it should be "open" instead since she hadn't just opened them. But that might be style more than grammar.

The woman smile was....

...if he ever become comfortable....

...Sappho grasped an Annie's gift....
Word missing? Or did you mean "on" rather than "an"?

...as one after another preclimax pleasures.... Should probably be either "as, one after another, preclimax pleasures," or "as one after another preclimax pleasure."

...one to many.... "too"
amythis From: amythis Date: February 8th, 2008 07:45 am (UTC) (Link)
"Decadence" typos:

There were only the book about Frogton.

He just wish....

That's just the way she was.
Change in tense.

A waiter came buy....

...in full view of her writhing, gasping sister....
Should be "his."

"I wish we could home," Verb missing.



Interesting, well-written series, though not my cup of tea. (I almost stopped reading the fourth adventure, not because of the "decadence" but because of the sci-fi.)
elfs From: elfs Date: February 27th, 2008 03:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
In that case, I want to humbly thank you for reading it all the way through. It was just one of those things that would not leave me alone until I'd finished it, even though Nymphs was hard to make gel quite in my head. It didn't really come together until I had the idea for the barfight.
amythis From: amythis Date: March 5th, 2008 04:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
No need for humility. That I read something out of my usual genres is testament to your talent.
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