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As a public service... - Elf M. Sternberg
As a public service...
An acquaintance of mine reminded me of CAPAlert, a website that rates films from a purely (ahem) Christian perspective. Lots of people use CAPAlert to find the movies they wish to see.

As a public service, I have hacked out a chunk of Perl code that analyzes the CAPAlert summary page and prints out the twenty most "Offensive To God" films ever rated by these people. They are:

10.65 South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
9.59 8 Mile
9 All About the Benjamins
8.74 Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
8.61 Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
7.46 Natural Born Killers
7.21 Rules of Attraction
7.09 American History X
7.00 Summer of Sam
6.81 The Blair Witch Project
6.71 Trainspotting
6.33 Flawless
6.19 SLC Punk
5.49 Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2
5.47 Training Day
5.33 Scary Movie
5.26 Detroit Rock City
5 Dogma
4.89 Gun Shy
4.84 Analyze This


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7 comments or Leave a comment
From: (Anonymous) Date: February 17th, 2003 03:48 pm (UTC) (Link)

You forget

Cap-alert does not rate films the reviewers cannot sit through. you should also include films that had no rating, as they are usually MUCH worse (better?) then just these. (8mm comes immediately to mind. A very good film IMHO)
mouser From: mouser Date: February 17th, 2003 04:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
10.65 South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
Considering the source and the film, that was probably on a scale of 1 to 10...
wolfwings From: wolfwings Date: February 17th, 2003 09:54 pm (UTC) (Link)

And the part I find most amusing?

Other than J&SB, and one or two (8 Mile and Analyze being the cutoffs) on either end of that 'worst ever' list... I don't like those movies much either, those of the list I've been able to sit through.
tacit From: tacit Date: February 17th, 2003 10:36 pm (UTC) (Link)
There's something very amusing and kind of twisted about the fact that Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back is more offensive to God than Summer of Sam. That really just about says it all, doesn't it?

The fact that American History X is on that list demonstrates that these people have a fundamentally flawed perspective. The fact that Trainspotting is on that list demonstrates a flawed understanding of the movie's entire point. And the fact that Scary Movie is on that list shows that they're just...well, weird.
nbarnes From: nbarnes Date: February 18th, 2003 05:24 am (UTC) (Link)

Those Christians, they're wacky

I'll never understand how 8 Mile did got a 9.56 and Dogma only got a 5.
elfs From: elfs Date: February 18th, 2003 09:45 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Those Christians, they're boring...

Remember, they are "not a review service." Their only point is to count up the number of "offenses to God" and multiply them against a secretive formula for how bad they are, revealing some magical number, the higher the worse the movie. Apparently, "fuck" is worse than "goddamn," which is worse than "damn," which is worse than "god", if one is to puzzle out their methodology. Also, "mention of evolution" is automatically an offense. (Both Lilo & Stitch and Jurassic Park got heavy marks for that one.)

Actually, the JP review reminds me of a comment there: apparently, the reviewer objected to a scene where Grant saves Lex's life by boosting her over a wall. His objection? To do that, actor Sam Neil to actually touch actress Arianna Richard's clothed butt, and "no man should touch an underage child that way." Y'know, that never occurred to me while I was watching the film, but then I'm not the one with the automatically pornographic imagination. What should he have done? Grabbed her wrist, spun around in a circle three times and tossed her over the wall like some Olympic ball-and-chain toss?

That man needs a tinfoil hat.
From: (Anonymous) Date: February 18th, 2003 10:22 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Those Christians, they're boring...

Among the other things they take offense to are vampiric cows, Tantrum by an adult, the phrase "dogs are people too." and my personal favorite "punk dress" because everyone knows if you dress like a punk, you cannot worship God(tm)

7 comments or Leave a comment