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A straightforward and honest obituary. - Elf M. Sternberg
elfs
elfs
A straightforward and honest obituary.
Wow. This has to be about the saddest, nastiest "fuck you" I've read in a long time: Delores Aguilar (1929 - 2008)

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Current Mood: thoughtful thoughtful
Current Music: Says You

18 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
bldrnrpdx From: bldrnrpdx Date: August 17th, 2008 10:22 pm (UTC) (Link)
Wow. Just... wow.
(Deleted comment)
valarltd From: valarltd Date: August 17th, 2008 10:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
That's the obit we don't want.
athelstan From: athelstan Date: August 17th, 2008 11:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
The amazing part is that she probably spent money to get that published. There are some bitter people in this word and in death they reap what they've sown.
mouser From: mouser Date: August 17th, 2008 11:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
I've known one or two people like that.

drewkitty From: drewkitty Date: August 17th, 2008 11:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
Brutal. I'm sure that there is a story there. I'm amazed the paper went for it.
tagryn From: tagryn Date: August 18th, 2008 12:56 am (UTC) (Link)
Usually the paper gets the obit from the funeral director, who's the one the family would have to persuade to put in what goes in (to the obituary). Professionally the FD is supposed to discourage this kind of thing, since the time right after a death can be a very emotional time and its the FD's job to act as a dispassionate party, and that includes trying to steer the family away from making snap decisions they may regret later...but if the family was insistent there's not a lot he/she can do but agree to their wishes.
lisakit From: lisakit Date: August 18th, 2008 12:09 am (UTC) (Link)
Makes you wonder... That's a lot of pain and anger there.

As a friend posted elsejournal today: "So - guard your ability to love others fiercely. Do not let small resentments build, forgive the forgivable and let them know you care about them. The older I get the more I think our work in the world is to honor the word - Love."
marketeer From: marketeer Date: August 18th, 2008 12:29 am (UTC) (Link)
Someone in the guest book said that the author should write a book. Clearly, there must an awful lot to that story that we'll never know. How very sad.

Edited at 2008-08-18 12:30 am (UTC)
aelfie From: aelfie Date: August 18th, 2008 12:31 am (UTC) (Link)
Wow. That sounds like my grandmother. I wish one of my relatives had the balls to write an obit like that. 'Cause as sad as that sounds, its the truth.
drewkitty From: drewkitty Date: August 18th, 2008 12:57 am (UTC) (Link)
Brutal. I'm sure that there is a story there. I'm amazed the paper went for it.
kengr From: kengr Date: August 18th, 2008 01:21 am (UTC) (Link)
Link doesn't work now.
solarbird From: solarbird Date: August 18th, 2008 01:36 am (UTC) (Link)

Yay, forgetting to close windows!

Dolores Aguilar
1929 - Aug. 7, 2008
Dolores Aguilar, born in 1929 in New Mexico, left us on August 7, 2008. She will be met in the afterlife by her husband, Raymond, her son, Paul Jr., and daughter, Ruby.

She is survived by her daughters Marietta, Mitzi, Stella, Beatrice, Virginia and Ramona, and son Billy; grandchildren, Donnelle, Joe, Mitzie, Maria, Mario, Marty, Tynette, Tania, Leta, Alexandria, Tommy, Billy, Mathew, Raymond, Kenny, Javier, Lisa, Ashlie and Michael; great-grandchildren, Brendan, Joseph, Karissa, Jacob, Delaney, Shawn, Cienna, Bailey, Christian, Andre Jr., Andrea, Keith, Saeed, Nujaymah, Salma, Merissa, Emily, Jayci, Isabella, Samantha and Emily. I apologize if I missed anyone.

Dolores had no hobbies, made no contribution to society and rarely shared a kind word or deed in her life. I speak for the majority of her family when I say her presence will not be missed by many, very few tears will be shed and there will be no lamenting over her passing.

Her family will remember Dolores and amongst ourselves we will remember her in our own way, which were mostly sad and troubling times throughout the years. We may have some fond memories of her and perhaps we will think of those times too. But I truly believe at the end of the day ALL of us will really only miss what we never had, a good and kind mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I hope she is finally at peace with herself. As for the rest of us left behind, I hope this is the beginning of a time of healing and learning to be a family again.

There will be no service, no prayers and no closure for the family she spent a lifetime tearing apart. We cannot come together in the end to see to it that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren can say their goodbyes. So I say here for all of us, GOOD BYE, MOM.
wookie_cd From: wookie_cd Date: August 18th, 2008 04:22 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Yay, forgetting to close windows!

Nice work, thanks :)
syredronning From: syredronning Date: August 18th, 2008 12:02 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Yay, forgetting to close windows!

Thank you. How very sad, after all :(

I dearly hope to get a nicer obituary once I die...
threnodym From: threnodym Date: August 18th, 2008 02:14 am (UTC) (Link)
I've known people like this: determinedly cruel and divisive. And it goes on for generations and generations, until eventually everyone breathes a small sigh of regretful relief.

Sometimes, I think - and very rarely, thank god - the only thing you mourn is the person that she could have been.
syredronning From: syredronning Date: August 18th, 2008 11:59 am (UTC) (Link)
The only thing you mourn is the person that she could have been.

:( Well said *thinks of her own family*
From: codeamazon Date: August 18th, 2008 04:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
It may well be that this IS the family finding a way to heal. It's sad when all too often people are not allowed to remember accurately after a death, leaving them to struggle with a disjunct between real memory and expected memory.
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