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Cat Blogging: The Bloody Cat - Elf M. Sternberg
Cat Blogging: The Bloody Cat
Omaha and I were lazing in bed one morning when Dinah leapt up onto it. I started petting her casually, like I always did every morning, when I realized that my hand was coming back wet. Puzzled, I reached over and turned on the light.

Not only was my hand wet, but the wetness was red. "Omaha," I said. She mumbled something, and I said, "Omaha, wake up! Dinah's covered in blood!"

"What?" She was up quickly, and looking at my hand and the trail Dinah was leaving behind, she agreed with my assessment that the cat was, indeed, covered with bright red blood. After checking Dinah over thoroughly we felt confident that it was not her blood, so now the question became: what had she hunted that had so much blood, and where was the body? We followed the trail out the hallway, but it seemed to fade the further it got from the bedroom. There were two trails, getting heavier as they headed into the bedroom: one led up to the bed, the other led under a table set up in the corner. "I know what it is," Omaha said.

An examination of the box showed that she did, indeed, know what it was. Dinah had jumped into a box of theatrical supplies and overturned a jar full of stage blood. That was why it was all over her belly, and why she was leaving the trails that she was.

Cleaning it up was disgusting and difficult. For one thing, the blood had dried out overnight and gelatinized into the brown carpet. The only way to clean it out was to pour boiling water onto it, then sop up the liquified mess with whatever towels we had lying around. The towels got tossed into bathtub.

Cleaning the cat was a challenge. This was when the Internet was young, and I couldn't ask google "How do you convince a cat to hold still for a washing?" We had a shower massage, of course, but Dinah was one miserable cat and I had quite the scratch along the inside of my right arm when we finally got the sugary, but probably not safe-to-lick-off, stage blood out of her fur.

By the time we were done, we had one very upset but clean cat, one bathtub that looked like a grisly murder scene, and a spot on the floor a brighter red than all the rest of the carpeting.

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