I suppose this should wait until next Monday, but I've been feeling it for at least a week and it deserves to be talked about. This coming Monday, the 17th, is the first anniversary of Dinah's being diagnosed with geriatric feline kidney failure. She was losing weight fast. "Aggressive" treatment consisted of a dose of gastrin management every night (it's amusing that both Dinah and I are both on omeprazole) and 100ml of water injected under her skin between the shoulder blades.

The veterinarian said that she'd probably last a month or two without it, or six to eight months with it. If we went "aggressive," he said, the end would come much, much quicker when it did since instead of a slow buildup of renal toxins over weeks, it would happen more or less within a few days when her kidneys finally did shut down. Omaha and made the decision to do the aggressive treatment-- we loved our old cat and, besides, what a great lesson for the kids, that you don't abandon someone just because their care has become onerous.

But it's been more than six to eight months. It's been a year. And I look at her and think to myself, "The doc said it would be a gentle, painless decline. You're not supposed to be getting better. You're not supposed to be putting on weight!" I immediately feel guilty for thinking that, and I understand that it's a common thing for caretakers to feel, the whole "I had this much time allocated to this part of you, and now you're taking more than your fair share" moment.

I do love the poor old fuzzball, even when she pees on my gym clothes, the laundry, goddess knows what else. I've become a master with the steam cleaner. And we have to work extra-hard to keep her litterbox clean because overcharging her kidneys means, well, you can guess what it means. So we soldier on. Enjoying her presence, even when she's so demanding about cuddles and hugs, taking care of her. And feeling a little guilty every time we grump over our responsibilities toward her.

Tags: cat, life
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Lo'Jo & Django, Jah Kas Cool Boy

Really, she's very sweet.

Tags: cat, catblogging, lolcat
Current Mood: giggly
Current Music: Dream Theatre, Through Her Eyes

I know it's traditional to do this with dogs, but we have a cat. After our Dies Natalis Solis Invicti dinner (thanks, blaisepascal, we put the big pig bone on a plate and left it on the floor for Dinah, who immediately went at it. It was quite the sight. I am lion, see me take down the wild boar and eat of its flesh! I am young! I am powerful! I am... ow, damn, I'm missing a quarter of my teeth! Damn!

Poor kitty. Anyway, she seems to have much enjoyed her Solis Invicti dinner as much as the rest of us. She's been eating pretty well the past few weeks, which has us heartened.

Tags: cat, life
Current Mood: tired

This afternoon Dinah went up to the front door and chittered. She did not meow, softly as she does now, being sixteen years old and much of her voice gone. She chittered, a sound she makes only when a moth has entered the room, or her arthritis medicine is working for her and we pull out the laser.

I wondered what caused her to do that, so I looked out the window. A pair of ravens were on the grass outside, digging at the ground and looking simultaneously ominous and coy. "Do you want to go out?" I asked. She knows what that sound sequence means and butted her head up against the door.

I opened it and she stepped out onto the front stoop and in the loudest voice her aging throat could muster, growled at them. It was quite the sound; I don't believe I've ever heard anything like it.

I do believe I've now heard the feline equivalent of "Get off my lawn!"

Tags: cat, life
Current Mood: amused