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Well-meaning and on the side of right, but naive and ill-informed - Elf M. Sternberg
Well-meaning and on the side of right, but naive and ill-informed
There is worse than being between Judith Reismann and the Concerned Women for America on one side, and Max Hardcore ATOGM movies and bareback pig sex parties on the other. And that's when someone who obstensibly sets herself up as one of the good guys gets something naively wrong.

My example du jour is Make Love, not Porn, which seeks to counter the terrible messages often encountered in mainstream pornography. Most of them are okay. It has a two-panel display showing two cases. The left one reads "Porn World" and says things like "Women love to be spat upon" or "Women love anal sex." The right-hand panel reads "Real World" and usually has something wishy-washy like "Some do, some don't."

The one that has most of us who are or have been sex educators up in arms is the one labeled "Clitoris." The "porn world" reads "Women come all the time from positions where nothing is going on anywhere near the clitoris." The "real world" one reads "There has to be some sort of pressure on the clit in just the right way to make a woman come. It has to be there."

The clitoris is (I hate to belittle it, but here goes) just a particularly well-situated bundle of nerves. Orgasm, y'know, happens elsewhere, somewhere above the neckline; everything else is just setting the stage for it. I've been lucky enough to know men and women who can and do climax from stimulation that has absolutely nothing to do with the traditional places to touch and stroke and lick, and to simply toss their experiences out as non-existent or unreal is unfair to them.

"I know that's wrong and I'm gonna change the world with my 133t D35|Gn SK|llz" is nice, but please, know what you're talking about, know what's correct, before you go and do it. At the very least, read a book about it, okay kid?

The one on anal sex is a hoot too, but then I'm just a pervert. A lot of the assumptions on the website is that all porn is nasty porn, and that producers like Abby Winters and Crashpad and Tristan just don't exist.

[Added: Fleshbot (obviously NSFW) has their own review, and it's similar to mine. (via Violet Blue.)]

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Current Mood: annoyed annoyed
Current Music: Pure Reason Revolution, Bullitts Dominae

8 comments or Leave a comment
rhonan From: rhonan Date: February 11th, 2009 05:13 am (UTC) (Link)
As someone who has had a lover have multiple orgasms just from sucking her toes, or gently nibbling on her ear-lobes, I call bull-shit with scientific evidence.
gromm From: gromm Date: February 11th, 2009 06:55 am (UTC) (Link)
As someone whose wife has orgasms from being fucked in the ass harder than I've ever seen anyone do on film, and who has brought her best friend to orgasm by spanking her, I second and third that. In fact, I have almost as many examples of that as I have had sex partners.

But by far the best line I've ever heard regarding porn is "Asian anal sluts are people too." Just because someone captured them on videotape at their best doesn't mean that sometimes, they're just not up for it. We are all far from perfect. We all have our own personality flaws. At the end of the day, it's all about whether or not three people are good enough for each other most of the time.
gromm From: gromm Date: February 11th, 2009 07:07 am (UTC) (Link)

Of assumptions.

all porn is nasty porn

One thing I've always loved about the Journal Entries is how you're able to mix filthy depravity with tenderness and love. That juxtaposition is just so real life human.

The funny thing about people who don't like porn however, is that they have this weird tendency towards gravitating towards the worst of the worst. Not just the ones who politicize it either - I know one guy who professes to not like porn, but at the same time he seems to have gone on some kind of a quest to find creativity in it by seeking out the stuff that was the most different. In other words, the freak shows.

Sometimes it's all about proving your argument, I think.
hydrolagus From: hydrolagus Date: February 11th, 2009 05:18 pm (UTC) (Link)
And then there's the whole tip-of-the-iceberg aspect to the clitoris, which I thought was pretty standard knowledge among sex-positive women.
I think this pretty much covers it: "Porn is fiction." It could still go on a purple back-ground with a badly-drawn vulva.
doodlesthegreat From: doodlesthegreat Date: February 11th, 2009 07:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ah, I love the Abby Winters stuff. It doesn't feel forced or staged.
abostick59 From: abostick59 Date: February 11th, 2009 09:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
A lot of the assumptions on the website is that all porn is nasty porn, and that producers like Abby Winters and Crashpad and Tristan just don't exist.

That's because Abby Winters, Crashpad, etc., aren't porn; they're erotica, silly!

(Specious Reasoning 'R' Us)
elfs From: elfs Date: February 11th, 2009 09:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
Porn World:
Women like saliva on everything!
Erotica World:
Women like saliva right.... there, yes there, yes, yes, yes, yes!
Real World
Saliva is icky
From: (Anonymous) Date: February 11th, 2009 11:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
That reads like the right conjugation.
I am erotic, you are kinky, they are perverted.
8 comments or Leave a comment