"The Day I Taught How Not to Rape" is certainly one of the best articles to come out of the entire Stuebenville fiasco, but as Abby shares her story of confronting the sexual expectations of ninth graders, it occurs to me that there's an almost impossible hill: teaching horny high school boys that, contrary to all their experience, women like sex. The acquisitional model-- that men want sex, and women are the gatekeepers of it-- is still firmly in the minds of all high school boys.

And it's hard to imagine any parent discussing sex in something other than the acquisitional model with their own daughters. To put it in Sex is like improvisational music model looks nearly impossible, even to me, and believe me, I've tried.

Because girls "know" they're the essentially vulnerable ones in any sexual relationship, and the initial, fumbling ones are always the hardest in which to overcome that vulnerability. It will take a real twist in the fabric of our culture to help both sexes overcome the crapton of media messages about relationships and sex.

Current Mood: thoughtful