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First Post! - Elf M. Sternberg
First Post!
zonereyrie has a "First post of the month" meme on his blog right now. I decided to do something a little more in-depth and hunt down my "first posts of the year" going all the way back to 1991.

1991: The fact that the theory that there are different types of orgasms in women, and that these theories are used by insane freudians to supress clitoral stimulation, does not make the theories themselves incorrect or intrinsically improper.

1992: So much hatred wrapped up in ya, Teddy, it almost seems a shame that even drieux wastes even his prodigious satirical talents on ya.

1993: In case anyone else missed it, in the latest episode of Bloom Count... er, that is, Outland, Bill The Cat is sporting a fine and dandy ring in his belly button.

1994: Oral sex is a rather tricky activity, and the only thing that'll improve your cunnilingus is... more cunnilingus (Oh, I'm sure your girlfriend will object to that)!

1995: There have been some minor design changes over the evolution of the Female Condom, one of the most significant of which is the change of the packaging, which originally was twice as large as the current packaging and made of foil rather than plastic.

1996: The Hite Reports are valued mostly for the wonderful anecdotes scattered throughout, but even Hite has admitted that her numbers were heavily skewed by the populations she chose to survey.

1997: Seriously, who the Hell are you to question some of the entries around here?

1998: For harnesses, don't buy mail-order. Go shopping. Same as with dildos.

1999: Someone commented that he "didn't know how to talk to women." My response was short and to the point: "Learn. You have no choice."

2000: From Websters: Shave, v. t.[imp. Shaved; p. p. Shaved or Shaven (); p. pr. & vb. n. Shaving.]

2001: I can't imagine much that I can do with Windows that I can't do with Linux.

2002: What laws currently protecting human beings do not apply to clones?

2003: The likelihood of getting cancer from acrylimide or dying of excessive water consumption are much lower than that of dying in an automobile accident. The same is true of doing any damage to your vision by having sex.

2004: It's not okay to eat anything that's Jesus.

2005: I spend half a day not getting much done, mostly because I'd just changed projects in midstream and the hardware wasn't allocated and I had no idea what the new parameters were, so just getting my head on took most of the morning.

2006: (And yes, for those keeping track, we do have a pretty girl leaping off a building.)

Current Mood: nostalgic nostalgic

10 comments or Leave a comment
norincraft From: norincraft Date: December 6th, 2006 05:34 am (UTC) (Link)


Amazing that you still have all that stuff. Anything from the venerated Bulletin Boards Systems that still survives?
zonereyrie From: zonereyrie Date: December 6th, 2006 06:13 am (UTC) (Link)
I remember some of those.

So did you just beat Google about the head and shoulders until you dug these up?
elfs From: elfs Date: December 6th, 2006 06:19 am (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, more or less.
trinsf From: trinsf Date: December 6th, 2006 08:23 am (UTC) (Link)
You know, I can't get Google to spit all mine out. I am *VERY* sure that it is missing big chunks of ASB in the early '90s. For example, not a single one of my travelogues is there.

I remember your infatuation with Reality; as I remember you were an early beta-tester of Reality. *grin* And yes, I think we all used to talk about sex more.
trinsf From: trinsf Date: December 6th, 2006 08:21 am (UTC) (Link)
Wow, like, worlds intersecting. Damn.
zonereyrie From: zonereyrie Date: December 6th, 2006 08:32 am (UTC) (Link)
You mean me popping up in Elf's LJ?

Elf and I overlap quite a bit it seems. I think we first 'met' on alt.sex.* around 1990 or 91. We keep popping up on the same newsgroups, mailing lists, forums, etc. Elf and I have a number of overlapping interests - sex, anime, tech, fiction, etc, and it is a small world.

Though we've never managed to meet in person, I've always thought he was a hoopy frood.
trinsf From: trinsf Date: December 6th, 2006 08:43 am (UTC) (Link)
I know elfs from similar places. Did you post? I assume it was under some other nick? (It was for me, at least -- I had, err, a reputation.) Anyway, though I had known him online for *years* as a writing peer, we only just met at ConJose in 2002. I was waiting for another acquaintance to start a reading when my ewhac came in and said, "Sorry I was late, I ran into elfs. Now, ewhac knows a lot of people, in part because of his Amiga notoriety, but I was still squee-fully surprised. We took elfs out to In&Out, I think.
zonereyrie From: zonereyrie Date: December 6th, 2006 08:50 am (UTC) (Link)
I've been 'megazone' just about everywhere since I got online in 1989. I use 'zonereyrie' when someone snags 'megazone' before I do. (Zoner being one of my nicknames and Eyrie Productions being the writing group I co-founded in '91.)

My email has always been megazone@ - megazone@wpi.wpi.edu, megazone@world.std.com, etc. Except for my first job out of college where they forced me to not use it, all my personal and work emails have been megazone@something.
trinsf From: trinsf Date: December 6th, 2006 09:20 am (UTC) (Link)
A googling shows you having discussions back then with many of my lil friends (Suki, Xiph, etc), but not me personally. You don't recommend my writing either. I feel vaguely sulky, but then, I was a bit of an acquired taste. :-)
zonereyrie From: zonereyrie Date: December 6th, 2006 10:29 pm (UTC) (Link)
I never read much of the adult writing on the net at the time - I was heavily into anime fanfic, writing and reading. And I even got burned out on that because I moderated rec.arts.anime.stories/creative.
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